So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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