OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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