i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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