Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize