I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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