SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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