when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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