Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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