Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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