also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
