I need help removing her.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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