All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
