on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
