New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
