david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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