My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
