I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
