when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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