we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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