I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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