"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
