He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
