Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
