My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
