i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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