I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
