Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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