I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
