I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize