plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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