last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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