it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
