i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
