i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize