Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
