Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
