I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
