Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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