please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
