I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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