i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
