even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
