I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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