i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
