idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
