He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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