escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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