he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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