Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize