i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
