no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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