You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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