Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
