A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
