Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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